A: “Hey, i have been following up on that $43m discovered by the EFCC in that luxury flat in Ikoyi, Lagos with my “sauces. The DIA says the money was for a covert mission, so i have been doing seom investigaton”.
B: “Ok, what did you find out?
A: “My sauces say the DIA covert mission was to buy Arsenal Football Club with the $43m ”
B ” That is ludicrous, Ok……why was the cash in Ikoyi?”
A “Good question….Remember Arsenal is no longer in top 4 and thus wont play Champions League football ? so DIA was waiting for Wenger to go…”
B. “This is nonsense……why would DIA want to buy Arsenal?”
A. “NIA is smart….they will use Arsenal and do covert operations in the UK”
B. “You have not answered…why was the cash in Ikoyi?”
B..” They could not keep the cash in a bank…they would pay COT….remember NIA is a prudent manager of government funds”
B. “Unbelievable!!! …..ok i will keep playing along, why was the cash in Dollars? and Naira? dont they need UK Pounds ?”
A. “US Dollars are the worlds reserve currency, when DIA brought Buckingham palace they used Dollars”
B. “Wait…thats not true….NIA does not own Buckingham Palace….the Queen still lives there”
A. “That’s why its a covert operation, NIA owns the Bukingham Palace, the Queen is their tenent…the $43m is her rent”
B..Wait but you said the $43m was to buy Arsenal….how did her rent get to Ikoyi, you still have not answered”?
A. “Pay attention, the DIA moved the cash from London to Lagos. The cash is in Ikoyi to avoid Lagos bank charges, are all Nigerian bank HQ not in Lagos? “….
B..”Yes but wont it be easier to pay for Arsenal from London? ”
A. “You are taking us back…has Wenger resigned”?
B. “So if Wenger resigns today, the cash will go back to London?”
A. ” My friend, You are not very smart, will the Queen not pay three years rent in advance in 2017? wont Arsenal value drop?….can you not appreciate the strategic planning of NIA?
B. ” Wait……We will use the Queens 3 years rent advance to buy Arsenal?”..
A. ” Yes….NIA has exemption from TSA, so if Wenger leaves today, NIA will just pay direct to Arsenal FC ”
B. “TSA? this is getting complicated, ….”
A. “Covert actions are complicated”
B. “Honestly, I was just humoring you, so you really believe NIA wants to buy Arsenal? that NIA owns Buckingham Palace?”
A. “but you believe NIA owns the $43m abi?”
Very silly assertion by NIA, and that’s Jokes Apart.